Why Do So Many Foster Parents Quit? And How the Church Can Help

Foster care is a calling that comes with both incredible joy and deep heartache. Every year, thousands of foster families step forward to open their hearts and homes to children in crisis. But statistics show that a large percentage of new foster parents quit within their first year or after their first placement.

Why does this happen? And more importantly, what can the Church do to strengthen foster families so they remain steadfast in their calling?

The Reasons Foster Parents Quit

1. Lack of Support

Many foster parents feel isolated. They enter the system with high hopes but quickly realize that the emotional and logistical challenges are overwhelming. Without a strong support network, they burn out.

2. Emotional and Behavioral Challenges

Children in foster care have experienced significant trauma. Their behaviors can be difficult to navigate, especially if parents are not adequately trained or prepared for the intensity of their needs.

3. Frustration with the System

Bureaucracy, caseworker turnover, court delays, and shifting case plans can leave foster parents feeling helpless and disillusioned. They may experience deep emotional investment in a child, only to feel ignored or dismissed by the system.

4. Secondary Trauma and Compassion Fatigue

Walking alongside a child from a hard place means witnessing pain, loss, and injustice firsthand. Many foster parents experience secondary trauma, which, if unaddressed, leads to burnout.

5. Struggles in Their Own Families

Biological children may struggle with sharing their parents. Marriages may become strained. If foster parents don’t have tools to navigate these relational challenges, they may decide that continuing isn’t worth the cost.

How the Church Can Strengthen Foster Families

Foster care is not just the responsibility of individual families—it’s a mission field for the Church. Here’s how churches can actively support and sustain foster parents:

1. Build a Foster Care Ministry

Churches should have a dedicated ministry for foster families, providing ongoing encouragement, practical help, and community.

2. Create Wrap-Around Support Teams

A strong wrap-around team includes:

• Prayer partners who intercede for the family.

• Meal trains for busy days.

• Respite providers who give parents a break.

• Mentors who help foster children adjust.

3. Train and Equip Families for Trauma Care

Churches can provide trauma-informed parenting training to equip foster families with tools to handle difficult behaviors with grace and wisdom.

4. Offer Respite and Babysitting Support

Many foster parents quit simply because they never get a break. Churches can train volunteers to provide short-term childcare and overnight respite care.

5. Normalize the Challenges and Encourage Endurance

Foster parenting is a spiritual battle. Pastors and church leaders should preach about the importance of perseverance, reminding foster families that their work is Kingdom work—even when it’s hard.

6. Show Up for Court Dates and Case Meetings

Having a pastor, small group leader, or church member attend court hearings alongside a foster family can be a powerful reminder that they are not alone.

7. Help with Financial and Practical Needs

Many foster families struggle to afford extra expenses—clothing, school supplies, therapy costs, or gas for multiple appointments. Churches can set up funds or host drives to meet these needs.

Conclusion: The Church’s Role in Stabilizing Children

When foster families are strengthened, children experience greater stability. They don’t have to experience yet another move or another loss.

The Church is uniquely positioned to be the hands and feet of Jesus to vulnerable children and the families caring for them. By wrapping around foster parents with prayer, practical support, and encouragement, the Church can turn the tide of burnout and create a lasting impact on the foster care system.

If foster families know they are not alone, more of them will stay in the fight—and more children will experience healing, stability, and the love of Christ.

Will your church answer the call?