Angie and I began our foster and adoption journey in 2013. Like most families stepping into this calling, we had more questions than answers, more hopes than plans, and more heart than experience. What we did know was that we wanted to open our home to children who needed safety, stability, and love. What we didn’t know was that God had already arranged someone who would become one of the greatest blessings of our entire journey.
It was late 2013 when we met Pat Brown.
At the time, Angie and I were both working full-time, so daycare was not a luxury—it was a necessity. Pat worked at A Child’s Castle then, and she continues to serve there today. But she didn’t stay “Pat” for long. Over the years, she became “Nanny Brown,” not just to our children, but to us.
There hasn’t been a single child we have fostered who hasn’t known Nanny Brown. She has been there through every placement—every high-energy toddler, every nervous preschooler, every child learning to trust again. And she hasn’t just cared for them inside the daycare walls. She has been present in our lives.
There were seasons where we literally said, “We would not survive without Nanny Brown.”
And we meant it.
She has driven our 15-passenger van like a pro—picking kids up, getting them to appointments, hauling them to her church, and taking them on special outings. She has shown up for our family in ways that can’t be measured. She has the energy of a teenager, the patience of a saint, and the heart of a grandmother. She loves every child she encounters, and she is able to care for any child who needs her.
She has become part of our family.
Every foster parent needs a “Nanny Brown.”
But ours? Ours isn’t available for at least another ten years.
Why Support Systems Matter More Than We Admit
Foster care ministry is beautiful, but it’s also demanding. Trauma does not wait until you’re rested. Appointments do not pause until your schedule clears. Behaviors don’t soften just because you’re tired. Foster parents are called to do hard, holy work—but none of us are called to do it alone.
A support system isn’t optional. It’s essential.
1. Support Creates Stability for Children
Children who come from hard places need consistent, trustworthy adults. When a foster parent has a team—neighbors, family members, church friends, mentors, “Nanny Browns”—children experience predictability. They learn that love doesn’t stop at one person. They see that community can be safe. It gives them an anchor in a world that has often felt unpredictable.
2. Support Protects Your Marriage and Friendships
The emotional load of foster care can strain even the healthiest marriage. When couples are stretched thin, communication suffers, patience wears down, and connection becomes harder to maintain.
A strong support system gives you:
- Space for a date night
- A breather when the day has been long
- People who remind you that you’re a team
And for single foster parents, a good support network becomes the bridge that protects friendships and keeps burnout at bay.
3. Support Strengthens Your Mental Health
Foster parenting often means absorbing another person’s trauma, grief, fear, and dysregulation. Without support, compassion fatigue can grow quickly.
But when someone steps in—
- to pick up a child from school,
- to sit with you on a hard day,
- to give you a night of uninterrupted sleep,
- or simply to say “You’re doing an incredible job”—
your mental and emotional resilience grows.
4. Community Makes the Mission Sustainable
The goal of foster care is not to be heroic—it’s to be healthy. Healthy homes create space for healing. And healthy homes are built on healthy support systems.
Your “Nanny Brown” may not look like ours.
Maybe it’s a neighbor, a pastor, a youth leader, a coworker, or a friend who shows up when it counts.
But every foster parent needs someone.
Not because we are weak—but because the calling is weighty.
Not because we can’t do it—but because it was never meant to be done alone.
If You’re a Foster Parent: Find Your Support System
If you’re just starting your journey, or you’re somewhere in the middle of it, start identifying and nurturing your support team now. Invite people into your story. Let them help. Let them partner with you in the holy work of stability and healing.
Your children deserve a community.
And so do you.
If you’re blessed to have a “Nanny Brown” in your life, thank God for them today.
And if you’re still looking—don’t give up.
Your people are out there.
And when they show up, you’ll wonder how you ever made it without them.